Hey there all my friends and readers. I hope you all are ready for another post here because it has been a while since my last one. Let it begin. Well, I just returned from the youth gathering in NOLA and I can tell you one thing that is for sure. I loved it. The feeling of 33,000 other of your peers worshiping God and spreading the love of Jesus Christ is undescribable. It was just unbelieveable. It left me speechless. God was present and moving in me and my group. I got to bond with some of my best of friends, people I know that I can turn to in my low points, and people that I will always love and cherish in my heart. Some of these people I have never really gotten to know outside of the "Hey how are you doing?" relationship, but I can offically say that all of these people are my brothers and sisters.
I am not going lie though, my week was not all rainbows and unicorns. I had my share of pits. The biggest of these pits came on Saturday night when during the Superdome worship I was hit by this profound combination of exhaustion and fear. The fear came from the fact that I finally realized that this trip is the last and final trip I would be taking with my youth group, and because I thought about this I began to get even more afraid of going to college and being so far away from them. I will not have that support system of friends that I have leaned on over the years. I will not be able to whenever I am down to just call up accouple of my closest of friends and ask "Do you wanna hang out?" The reason I ask them to do stuff is to take my mind off of myself, and to just let everything go. The feeling that no matter I have done or no matter what I talk about or do that these people will be there is soooo comforting to me and brings me strength. It just really frightend me. To lose what I have now. I know that it will be good and allow me to branch out and become and even better person and guy, but I am going to miss what I have right now so much. It is really hard to explain and I am sorry if you dont understand this.
I tell you what though. After that worship service, we were walking back to the hotel and everyone else in my group went to this dance. I was so glad I chose not to go to that dance. Here is why. It gave me time to myself. It gave me time to just get away from everybody and just have a straight up bro to bro talk with God. I mean, I sat in my hotel room looked up and sobbed. I sat in my room and cried like a little baby because I just didnt understand what was going on with me and why I was feeling this way. I am to emotional I guess, but it just felt good to release all the pent up stuff and I heard the voice of God that night. If you haven't heard that voice ever in your life. It is completely and utterly fantastic. He didn't actually say something to me, but he did use a random bible opening session to really open my eyes.
I just opened up my bible that night and I turned to the book of Isaiah and the first verse I read was from chapter 54 verse 11. It says, "Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise, your foundations with lapis lazuli."
Wow. After I read that, dont ask me why, but I felt a complete and utter peace go flowing through my body. I began to see that eventhough we as people have been lashed and broken by the storm known as life, the Lord will rebuild us and make us even stronger and even more beautiful in the end.
We go through so much in our lives, whether it be lonliness, insecurities, bullying, brokeness, relationship problems, or any type of abuse. The world is cruel and increases the brokeness we all have, but let me tell you something. The Lord our God by the blood of his Son Jesus Christ fills in that brokeness. He uses our strengths, weakness, short-comings, failures, brokeness, and our PTL moments to glorify his name. I compare it to this. I think that we as humans are like a broken mirror. It is broken and cannot be put back together without some type of glue that is when God comes in. He is that glue that will fill in all of the brokeness of your heart and bring it all together again. He holds us together and keeps us whole. Just like the mirror needs the glue to keep it together. We need God, the Father, to hold us together with his eternal love and grace that will fill each and everyone of our hearts.
Father, I just ask this evening that you help all of the pain of this world and that instead of hate and pain that we can continue to spread the love that you have shown us that unconditional AGAPE love that is never failing. I also want to thank you for all that you do in my life and in everyone of our lives because you are perfect. You are beyond incredible to me and I love you so much. I just want you to continue to bless all of us in whatever way you feel suited because it isnt our will be done it is YOUR will be done. Use each of us to be the heartbeat and the life blood to that Agape Love. Work through us because it is most definitely your work and our hands to use. I bring all of this to you in your most holy name. Amen
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