Risky Business

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it." - Matthew 16:24-25

We as Christian young people go through a lot don't we? I mean in our schools we are looked at as outsiders. If we where a shirt that portrays anything related to our faith  we are looked at and judged for what we believe in. We are judged by Christians themselves already. I mean people that have been through confirmation, and don't pursue the faith any further. We are looked at as the "churchy people," the ones that think they are "holier than thou." You want to know something? I will gladly take that label because really what they see in us is that we have a life about us, a way we do things that seems to show off so much joy. 

Let me get back on track though. I was at my youth group tonight, and we talked about this subject. I found out tonight that 11 out of the 12 disciples that followed Jesus throughout the gospel were killed because they were considered "Jesus Freaks." John was the only one that was not killed, but he was exiled/tortured for being a follower of Christ. I mean look at that as an example to be one of Christ's disciples we have to be willing to lose our previous lives, and sacrifice that good that we once had in order to experience his greatness fully. The disciples had good lives before Jesus came into them. Some were successful fishermen, one was a tax man, others were farmers, but that laid down their previous lives in order to make in themselves a new life. They laid down their previous selves, and followed Him in promise of eternal life through Him. I just wonder if we can fully do the same? I just wonder why we don't? I don't judge, and I don't want to change anyone or try to sell this to anyone because you will all get there someday, but in my heart right now I am so radically in love with the Father and with Jesus that if He called me to do something I would be very willing to do it. That is just where I am at in my relationship with Him right now. 

In saying all that it is extremely risky business to be a Christian in this day and age. I am not going to lie about that at all. It has its hard points, but all the rewards will blow your mind. The amount of high-points I have when the blinders are removed from my eyes are unbelievable. 

The final thing that I want to address about this topic is about the time that we have on this Earth. I just want to share with you all this video from Francis Chan about this subject exactly. To live radically for Jesus, and then to keep an eternal perspective. So I am going to show you that video, and then pray at the end.

Hey Papa. I just come to you tonight in unbelievable amazement at who you are and who I am in relationship to you. I just ask that when you say pick up our cross daily and follow you that we actually take that to heart, and we press on to the goal because we know that the goal of this life is not for ourselves, but for you Lord. This life is a figment in comparison to the life we are going to have with you in eternity. I cannot wait Lord, but that will come whenever you want it to come. As for right now, I just pray that we all just look instead at our selfish desires that we look to you because you already lived the perfect life as a human through your Son Jesus Christ. Let us live by his example, and glorify his name through all we do even though that it will be hard, and we will not be the most popular of people. We will pick up our cross and live for You. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.

Come to the Well

"On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink.Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them." - John 7:37-38

You look at that scripture right there and I don't know what you feel about it or even if that affects you at all, but I do know that it affects me greatly. I read that scripture and I think about all the searching, all the empty things that I have chased from pornography to affection to love to control to just something to fix my brokenness. When I hear the words "anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink," I just get an overwhelming sense of peace and love when I think about that. Jesus is the only way that we are going to fill that void in our hearts. Why do we go after all these worldly things? Why do we expect other people to be our Jesus? If only this guy or girl would be in my life, then I will be saved then I will truly be happy. I don't understand the human thinking sometimes. God created us as some really complicated creatures if you ask me, but honestly though we go through life expecting all the worldly things and people to make us happy and save us from our brokenness. 

It says in that piece of scripture that if we believe in Jesus, and his Majesty then the Holy Spirit will enter into our hearts. When that happens, the Spirit then starts chiseling in your heart and helps you mature in your faith. I mean I am just now finally accepting the Spirit into my heart, and I can tell you that I feel so much at ease. I have had to make some sacrifices, but God sacrificed his SON. Shouldn't I be willing to sacrifice some things in my life that might seem okay to have for God? I mean God sacrificed his Son. Jesus seemed okay on Earth right? I mean he had a pretty good life up to the Crucifixion, but he sacrificed what was okay in order for God to make it great. He sacrificed his life for something greater, so that we would have eternal happiness and love through Him for the rest of our small lives and eternal life to come. 

Okay that was a pretty epic side-tangent. I like what I did there. Anyway, we as humans thirst so much for all these worldly things. I mean the list goes on and on for what is important in our lives. God and Jesus is always something to a background item even in the eyes of Christians. We go through the motions of going to confirmation and church on the weekends, but honestly there is no Spiritual growth there. We put God on the back-burner. I like calling it "Back-burner Christianity." (Clever right?) I was the exact same way until about a year ago. I accepted Jesus into my heart as a freshmen in high-school, and then really just left it at that. I didn't grow in spiritual maturity, and then still kept searching for all those other avenues of affection and love. I used people for that, and my addiction to pornography was another avenue I used in order to fill that void. I accepted Jesus and was a Christian, but I was still thirsty because I didn't drink the water that was being poured over me. Even though God was pouring his love through Jesus allover me, I never drank that living water. I never let that affect my whole outlook on life! I never was able to see God in all that I do and in everyone that I met! That is really amazing to let the Father be the father of you life, and to let him control it all. 

I am going to end this post with some lyrics from the song "The Well" by Casting Crowns, and then pose a question after that with some prayer so bear with me here.

Leave it all behind.
Your pursuit of perfection.
Leave it all behind.
Your fear of rejection.
Leave it all behind.
Your temporary pleasure.
Leave it all behind.
Your pursuit of treasure.
Leave it all behind.
The chains of addiction.
Leave it all behind, and come to the well.

That song really just shows everything that I said before. Jesus is that well of living water. Leave all that has happened in our past. Everything that we once were and let Jesus enter into our hearts. Read the Word, pray, worship Him, and let God work in your heart. That is the only thing that is going to fill your heart up. Not people. Not drugs. Not alcohol. Not sex. Not everything that we feel is good in our lives, but Jesus will. I have left it all behind and have jumped into that well of living water. Are you willing to let Jesus change your life completely? 

Lord Jesus. We just praise you today for just being that well of everlasting water that we can go to when we are thirsty. We just love you Lord, and all we want is for you to take full control of our lives. Take all the control that we want and some that we enjoy, and do your will on our lives. I just ask that all of us realize that all the things that we chase after in this life are nothing unless we have You leading our way. Unless we have your Spirit in our hearts and have you living inside us nothing that we do will fulfill the desires of our hearts Lord. You are the desire of my heart, and I just pray that we all can live in harmony with you. Lord Jesus help us grow in relationship with you and mature us according to your Holy Spirit which is within us. In the most holy of names I pray. Amen.

May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you.  May He look upon you with favor, and bring you peace. Amen.

Lessons that Sometimes are Hard to Learn.

Well all y'all are back for another one of my insights into my life, and my lessons that I feel like writing down for two reasons really. One is to help you all reading in your life and in your struggles, and two is for me to have clarity in what I am going through. This stuff I write is all from my heart, and is my way of working through things because if I just hold it all in and don't release it either through writing or talking to someone then it just harbors in my heart and that is when Satan takes a hold of it and makes me second guess and all that stuff. So that is why I write these posts, but let me get to what I want to talk about on here tonight. The lesson that I have started to learn over the past few days. To stop relying on people more than God.

This break has been so strenuous on my faith, and not just me spiritually, but emotionally and even physically. I have really been thinking over today and even the past couple of days about my priorities in life. I am called to serve the Lord, and I have answered that call, but I haven't really been living my life with Him as my purpose you know? I mean yes I try my hardest to spread his love, and to encourage others through the faith, and evangelize. Those are all involving people though right? In that serving and loving of others I feel as if though lately I have started putting my trust instead of in God but with people. I put the people I love in front of God. Instead of trying to serve God and lay it all down for Him, I try to change those people. I put all my effort into trying to change those people to what I think is right instead of putting that hope/effort into God's hands through prayer. If I prayed as much as I try to change people in my life, then maybe just maybe He would make more impact on the people I love on and serve. Maybe if I wouldn't depend on people over my God, my creator, that I would not to put so much effort in to trying to control outcomes that I can't.

This lesson from God is something that is really hard for me to grasp onto because my personality the way that I am wired is to love, to encourage, and to care. I realize that I can still do that. That I can still be an awesome friend to all that I meet and to care as much as I do, but instead of trying to control and try to change people. I have to learn to stop trying to control things that I have no control over. The hard truth that I don't change people, that I don't make the difference in people, but I am an instrument that God uses in the lives of people I meet. So in saying that. I am not going to say that this lesson is going to be so easy for me to swallow because of my nature, but I realize that God has a better plan for me than anything that I can ever imagine. Yes, the way that I do things now are what I would say as "good," but sometimes we need to sacrifice the good in order to bask in the glory of God's greatness. His plan is GREAT. I am sacrificing my good to become great, can you do the same?

Lord Jesus, my Jesus. I just come to you tonight in prayer and in praise. I praise you tonight for what you do in my life, and for allowing the Holy Spirit to point this lesson out in my life. It is utterly amazing for me to feel you in my life, and to try to grasp how amazing you and your love are. I just ask tonight Lord that we all see that sometimes we need to sacrifice our control and our "good lives" in order to fully bask and fully reap the rewards of your glory Lord. To instead of having the good we currently have to lay that down in order to be great. Your plan Lord is great, and I just ask that you continue to guide us and love us as much as you do. Your love and grace reign forever in my life, and I hope that we all can lay our good down at your feet for you to turn into greatness. In your most holy of names I pray. Amen.

Love all of you reading this, and may the King of Kings bless your days to come.

The Stars in the Sky

Good evening everyone. It has been one heck of a week, and I tell you what. I am so glad for how it all has went. Doesn't matter if I was in hardship and fell into a pit or if I was in the Lord's presence I just am so thankful for it all. Thankful for how the Lord, our God, treats us and is always there for us. Just utterly amazes me. I honestly get the image of a star when I think of God. I will explain what I mean by this as I get a little bit further into this. So with out further adieu. Let it begin.

As in my car tonight, I was just blown away about how bright and how amazing the stars were out there tonight. It was so clear out and I could see the stars like no other. There was no clouds. Nothing to block our view of those amazing balls of fire that may look small to us here on Earth, but up close are infinitely bigger. When I was just staring that their beauty, I thought about the stars and what happens to them on those overcast nights when we cannot see them. It isn't like they just disappear and are not there when we cannot see them. I thought that was pretty sweet to think about that the stars no matter where we are at or no matter if there are clouds or not are shining down upon us through it all. I then was like if you think about it God is exactly like that. Doesn't that make a lot of sense though? I mean check it out. God created everything in his own image. He puts himself into everything in creation. Why not make the stars of the galaxy have the same characteristics as Him?

Let's dig into that. God is like the stars. He is the stars. No matter where we are at, no matter if it is the darkest of nights or the cloudiest. He shines brightly. Even though we cannot see Him, we trust and know that He is there just like those stars in the sky. He is always going to be there. He is not going anywhere, and HE WILL ALWAYS SHINE THROUGH.

Lord Jesus. Wow. That is all that I can really say to you right now. Your faithfulness, your love, and all of that just completely blow me away. The fact that you made the stars blows me away, and even that that is so far away from us here on Earth that your image is completely shone through them. The fact that they do not stop shining down upon us is just a mirror image of your faithfulness to us. Your love for us Lord. That you are there through every situation, every heartache, every struggle, every triumph, every single thing that we experience and we go through you are right there. I just thank you and praise you for that. In your most highest of names I pray. Amen. 

White Flag

We raise our white flag, we surrender all to you. All for you. - Chris Tomlin

I say that quote not telling you guys to waive the white flag on your life period, and to give up on everyone in it or any of that. I share that with you because I have been through so much in my life and even within the past week. I will get to what I mean by this quote, and what I have been going through the past week to get to this point. So in saying all this. Let it start.

This week has been one heck of a week. Honestly, I cannot tell you how much of a roller coaster I have been on. I mean my week started off on such a high-note I was feeling so full so close to the Lord after I had just this hardcore session of intense worship, prayer, and reading his Word. I felt like I could tackle anything, and that I could do anything. Then, the next morning I received some news. Some news that we all hate hearing. One of my great-grandmas passed away after her battles with her health. I mean you talk about that gut-wrenching moment. That moment where the shock of someone you loved, and enjoyed being around would not be there the next time. I did not see her very often, but when I did I cherished my time with her because I knew she cared and loved me dearly. That was hard to begin with, and then after that I really was beating myself up about wasting my life here. Satan was using my grandmother's death, which is hard in its own right, and threw this at me? Making me question and deceiving me saying that this life I am living is a waste that I should be doing more. I was in a pit literally in the rut. Then upon praying and getting over those lies and that heartache, I was put back into that pit again tonight. The great-grandma on the otherside of the family had a scare tonight as well. I mean honestly that just brought me down even further. That was where I was at before I rose my white flag.

Let me explain. I did not give up on myself, and wallow in self-pity. Okay maybe I did for a little bit, but that is where my friends help me and encourage me in my faith. Thank the Lord for them. Anyway, after being encouraged by these people. I rose my white flag. I surrendered. I said to the Lord, "God. I can't do this anymore. I can't take all of this on my own. I surrender all of this to you. Everything I am going through, and everything I will go through. I just submit it all to you. Amen." After doing that, I felt at ease. I felt that peace that I have grown to love. That peace that only God can ever give me. He filled me up. It lets all this tension and stress off of your shoulders, and just
make you grow in relationship.

My white flag is waving in air. It is flowing in the wind, and indicates that I accept what God has planned for me. I trust that no matter what He has in store for me that I will love Him forever and ever. I surrender my life, my heart, and my soul.

Lord Jesus. I just praise you tonight for being you. For being our strength, our stronghold, our rock. For being there no matter if we doubt or if we worship you. If we are in the valley or on freaking Mt. Everest Lord you are there. You pour your love onto us no matter where we are or who we are with. I praise you for that. For sacrificing it all for us. For laying down your son's life in order to save us from your wrath. Father, I just ask tonight that as we take up our cross daily that we remember that we do not have to carry that cross on our own. That we can call upon your name and surrender our crosses over to you Lord. That we can raise our white flags to you, and you will take them wholeheartedly because that is how you are. That is how much you love us and care for each of us. I pray all of this in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Grind

Hello all who care enough to read this! First off, thank you for reading these posts, and reading what I have to say because it all comes straight from the heart. I just have a passion and a heart all for God and spirituality. I enjoy as well as trust in my heart that my calling and my purpose in this life is to help, and make an impact in other people's lives with God by my side. I trust in him that this is my calling, but there is a lot that comes with this calling. One thing is other people. People in my life look at me, and question my motives, my beliefs. Then they mock my faith saying that their is no such thing as what I believe and what I do is ridiculous in this day and age. Another thing is Satan himself. He uses my past, my previous life and previous way of living to bring me down deceive me and make me feel like I am not the kind of guy anybody would want first as a husband and second as a spiritual leader anywhere. That is the grind that I go through daily. That is my daily bread that we pray in the Lord's Prayer. That is what the Lord fills me up enough to overcome each and everyday. Then some days more things are thrown on my plate. For example, Wednesday night I was supposed to lead youth group at my church. Well that day I got a migraine and didn't do the middle school youth group in the afternoon, but was still able to do the high school one that evening. Because of all the migraine did to me I was not 100% I felt like utter crap, but I did what the Lord was calling me to do even though Satan threw a wrench in the whole thing.

That is my daily grind. I do not know your grind. I do not know what you go through in your life, but their is more to this life than breathing and going through the motions. I don't care what you live for. If you live for others, sex, money, approval, acceptance, and anything else that will try to satisfy you. All I know is that Christ is all that has ever satisfied me. My heart is full of love, and ready for anything that comes at me because I know that it is all for my good and for the glory to God. I will praise him through any storm. Amen.

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

New Years and All that Comes With It.

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE! I hope that the new year for everyone is unbelievably blessed, and that we can all grow in our relationships with each other as well as with our Lord. As the new year is upon us, I just wanted to write about the new year, and what comes along with all that.

The thing that really hit me last night and into today is that I didn't make a new years resolution yet, so when I was laying in silence today I really gave it thought. I also prayed about the thoughts I was having because that is just who I am and what I do. In really thinking about this I brought those typical resolutions into my head you know like I am going to get healthy, lose weight, find the love of my life, and even thought about overcoming struggles that bind me. I then sat back, looked up at God, and smiled because I realized that through him all that would be possible. That if I grow in relationship with him that I will become new that all those things that we choose to be new years resolutions will all come true in due time because all things are possible through Christ Jesus who strengthens me. I was just like "Wow God, you are unbelievably amazing, and I am truly blessed to know that I have you by my side through it all."

I mean honestly let is just sit back and realize that we can accomplish all that we set out to do, so what tells us that we can't do all that I listed earlier and 20 times more as long as I have God and the knowledge of that I am forgiven and made new because of Christ Jesus.

So in saying all this, am I making a New Years Resolution? Of course. To grow in relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ because through Him all things are possible, and through him I am made brand spanking new.

Lord, today I just lift the previous year up to you. I thank you for all my struggles, all my blessings, and all the things you do in our lives period. I just ask today that you bless all of our new years to come, and that we realize that You are the answer to our New Year. That you are the one who can make all the things we dream of come true because you love us Lord. We are your beloved, and I just continue to pray that we all can grow in our relationships with you. In your most holy of names I pray. Amen.