Open Your Heart

Well hello all my friends. Just another post that will hopefully speak to you in anyway. Lets start with me giving you a little back story about why I am writing this post. First off, I was at work again tonight and when I am working, I tend to go into my own little bubble and do some deep thinking. Dont't ask me why I do this, but I do it and it really helps me understand myself as well as just cope with whatever is going on that day. Well today I was diligantly working and this rush of thoughts, ideas, and words came into my mind. Hang with me here. I am not crazy (most of the time), but I just felt like I needed to tell you all these thoughts.

This was my thinking. I started thinking about the walls that I have started putting up around myself after my last rock bottom and was trying to pinpoint them when I sat and looked up. When I did this I felt my whole body relax and I smiled because I knew and just realized the next couple of things I'm going to tell you all.

 GOD CAN ONLY FILL YOUR HEART UP WITH LOVE IF YOU ALLOW HIM.

Wow. Mind-Blowing moment right there. I mean, when I realized this in full magnitude I just looked up and smiled because I felt like that the walls that I have put up have concealed myself from God's Love completely. Then I had this revelation.

God's Love is like an always flowing stream of water that is filling up our hearts with Love and Compassion, but if we do not open our hearts up to it then it is like we have screwed a cap on our hearts and the love that is continuously poured onto us is put to waste.

In my case, I have built up these walls around my heart that when the Love of God was being shown and poured into my heart that my walls worked like that cap on my heart. Like I said though, God's love is everlasting and does not falter, so the love like water against a wall, has worn me down and finally broken these walls down around my heart. The cap has been removed and my heart is overflowing with that love. It is so amazing to experience this, to feel like I can be finally open and completely outspread with the love of God raining down on me. It is truly and utterly amazing to know that no matter if I close myself off from God that he will continue to love and support me. Man! I love that guy!

I know right now some of you are going read this and be like "He doesn't know me. He doesn't know what I go through," and I tell you that I don't know what each of you deal with, but we all here have the same God that continuously pours his love into our hearts. I challenge you today. I challenge you to let everything go, let every wall come crashing down, and let the Love that God has always shown you enter your heart. It will not be easy, but as I have said in my previous post. "If something in life is really worth having, then you need to work at it."

Dear Heavenly Father, this morning I just ask you bless all of those people in this world that have closed themselves off from you as I have and that your everlasting and always flowing stream of love penetrate their barriers around their hearts and fill up their hearts with your renewing love. I want to thank you for continually showing me your love and no matter the circumstances never giving up on me. I want you to know that I will never give up on you as people have done in the past. You are so amazing and loving. I love you and cannot even comprehend the love you have for me. Thanks again for all you do. Amen

Perservere

It has been a week since my last post and things have been going great. Everyday comes with their own challenges, but I overcome each and every obstacle by just being true to me. Anyway, I feel like tonight I need to write about something that has came across my mind lately. I don't really know what made me think of this, but I just thought of this.

You really figure out what kind of person you are when things start going in the wrong direction, and you are at the brink of rock bottom or even there. That is when you figure out who you are. Are you the kind of person that gives up when things are going wrong? or do you perservere?

Those were some questions and thoughts that came to my mind over the last couple of days. When I thought about those questions, I really dug down and figured out what can of person I want to be. Am I going to give up when things get tough in my relationships with others or when I feel like I can't do anything right or whatever situation? The answer I came up with was......NO. I will not give up! Why give up on myself? The word that describes this whole post is PERSERVERANCE.

That word sums up almost everything that happens in our lives. When things are going against you and you start getting caught in the "quick sand" of life. Are you going to quit on yourself and on others? or are you going to try and perservere? Are you going to fight?

I'm going to use a quote from my high-school football coach.

"Anything that is worth having in our lives, we need to fight and work at acheiveing. Nothing will come easy."

I feel like this is totally the truth. If you feel like something is worth alot to your life, then you need to work for it and need to work at keeping it. Do not quit! Do not give up on yourself and on others in your life!

It is hard. I know this, but you think about the people in your life that when they have things start going against them and they thrive in that moment, they bring themselves up because they are not going to give up on themselves. Now think about that again, but say those people don't thrive and they give up, they give in, and don't trust in God or in themselves. What happens? They don't experience all of the possibilities that the Lord and that life have in store for them. They live life with blinders and don't experience all that they could!

Life is rough and sometimes things don't go your way, but what really shows what kind of person you are is how you rebound. How you respond to those things that seem to be against you. Do you give up and bail out? or do you fight for what you think is worth having? The choice is, as always, yours.

Heavenly Father, I just ask this evening that you help all of us to see that giving up on ourselves and on people we think are worth having relationships with is not what needs to happen. Help us and guide us through those situations when we feel like giving up, and giving up on you. Strengthen us and keep us as we move forward in each of our hard and complicated lives. I ask that you bless every single person in this world and will continue to show your love to them even on the brink. Thank you for all that you do and all the people you have put into our lives. Amen

Fear

Fear. The one thing in my life that seems to keep me down and prevent my growth as a person. Lately, I feel like I have been letting fear crawl into my heart and influence everything I have been doing and saying. It really sucks letting fear consume you. It eats your happiness and joy you feel, and replaces it with worry and pain. But! (there always is a "but" isn't there) The love of the Lord fights against fear and shuns out fear from our hearts. He washes away your fears with all that he does in our lives that bring us up and closer to him. His love showers over every single inch of our bodies and cleanses us of what we have done and of the causes of our fears. That is what I am writing about tonight....Fear and overcoming it.

If you look at every single thing we do and every decision we make, there is fear. The fear of the unknown, change, spiders, rejection, commitment, snakes, heights, roller coasters, close quarters, bugs, big words, and the list goes on and on. They are all fears we as people have of each other or of things in our lives. We recognize these fears and let them control our decisions. For example, if you are scared of heights, you are probably not going to be seen on the top of the Power Tower at Valleyfair just dangling there. Correct? That situation can be put for every single one of those fears I listed before. We as humans tend to avoid things that we fear. It is just nature. If you don't like something don't do it. Simple as that. Right?

See, I feel like for some of those harmless fears like snakes, spiders, dogs, heights, roller coasters, and stuff like that this really doesn't apply. For those fears that are deep and genuine like the fear of the unknown, commitment, rejection, failure, and maybe even fear of truly being happy. You think of it there is a fear of it, but I can honestly say that if all we do is avoid the situations that scare us then are we really living? Or are we avoiding?

One of my favorite Christian speakers, Graham Cooke, in his Inheritance message says this:

"Because when I look at you says the Lord, I see something that I love, and I see someone that I can love outrageously. And I have so much to bestow upon you, so much to give you, so many places to take you in My heart, but you can’t go there unless you allow Me to love you. And my love for you, will break every barrier, bring every wall crashing down, and know this says the Lord, My love damages fear, My love hates fear My love will fight fear it will fight fear in you it will fight fear around you, and if you have fear this evening says the Lord, then know that you have a treat in store, because My perfect love casts out fear, there is no fear where I am present, because My love casts out fear. Beloved, you are My beloved, you are My beloved, and in My love I want you to feel good about yourself.”

Wow.

THAT my friends is how you fight the fears we feel. You accept the Lord's love and open your heart up to him, and you will then be cleansed of all of your fears because the Lord loves you sooooooooooo much that his love will cast out every single fear, insecurity, and smallness you feel. His love WILL endure. Pretty amazing, wouldn't you say?

Immmmmmmm BAAAAAACK

I don't even know how to start this post out. Honestly the past couple of days and weeks I have felt called and urged from something to keep writing these posts. First of all, little things these days just seem to inspire me and give me hope, no matter the situation. It is like I have had the blinders removed from my eyes and it feels so amazing. You have no idea how great this feeling is because I feel as though before the past couple of weeks I was just going through the motions taking granted the time and of the little things God put in my life. Now that things are changing and some things have been removed from my life that were holding me back I feel as though I can live each day looking for those little things God says or shows us.

I feel that before I was so worked up and worried about graduation as well as other things that I didn't pick up all the little things that the Lord was showing me and trying to tell me. I was lost and was caught up so much in those worries and those people that I wasn't focusing on me and I was shutting out my God because my life was fine and good so why should I need the Lord? Well guess what! Uhhhhh you kind of need him all the times of your life. I learned that the hard way. Things started happening and changing so fast that I didn't know what to do, and I spun out of control into a pit of my own destruction. God has used this to show me though that I need him. We all are going to have those times when we feel alone, and like no one is there. The thing about those times is that is when our faith grows stronger and we become shaped into the person we really want to be. Some people handle change greatly and others handle it completely in the opposite of what the Lord wants, but there is going to be plenty of instances in our lives where change is going to happen. It is just our job to listen to the Lord and use him as your guide.

We all are going to have this point in our lives where a sudden change happens like graduation or a death in the family or a blind-sided breakup or sickness in the family. No matter what that change is, the only way to get to the Lord is to listen to him and slow down. Stop thinking and worrying so much about other people because you can't change them, but instead focus on the Lord and your relationship with him. That is truly what matters to be at peace.

Dear Father, I want to pray tonight for all the people who are lost as I was and see all the worries in this world instead of noticing all the little things you do for us. I also want to pray for myself as I continue to scale the mountain and move forward in my life. As I leave those worries and those people that have held me down behind me. I also want to thank you for those people that have caused pain in my life because they have helped me strengthen my relationship with you as well as myself. I want you to know God that I love you completely and thank you for all the people you have put in my life, no matter if they are there to bring me down or raise me up. You are truly an awesome God and I know you will always be victorious in every valley I go through. Thanks for all the amazing things you have done in my life and for the people who have pushed me closer to you. In your most merciful and glorious of names. Amen

Things Change

Hey there all. I have a really strong calling and feeling to write about something that affects every single one of us who are living and breathing human beings. That thing being CHANGE. Everything in this world changes, whether it be people or situations or nature in general. The thing that we as humans need to do is accept that these things do happen and that we just need to figure out what the heck this change is going to do for me, how is this going to affect me in a good way? What can I learn from this sudden change? I'm sorry it is so late, but tonight/this morning I just feel like I should get this off my mind and chest.

I am going through what I like to call a "Changing Period," where I am trying to figure out myself as well as the kind of people I want to surround myself with in the future. Tonight, I went to a friends house for a bonfire and that just really helped remind me of the people that truly care and truly are the people I can turn to when I am down and need a lift. In this time of change, one thing I was reminded of is that the Lord NEVER changes. The love the Lord gives us NEVER fails and NEVER diminishes. When you go through these change filled times, where you sit and wonder, "WOW where did the time go and why are things changing so much?" The Lord is there working through every change that happens in your life to shape and mold you like clay under his hands, we cannot become that beautiful piece of pottery unless we have those times of change to shape us into it.

In this time in my life, I feel like as though the Lord has intervened and shown me the positive in this change filled period. The Lord has shown me that even though that people and other things are changing in my life that he is still there and he will ALWAYS be there. Because I know he LOVES me for who I am and has put the people who are in my life right now in there for a reason, and have put these hard changes in my life to strengthen me for the future. He is preparing me for bigger and better things and people to associate myself with.

Change is never easy to accept, but with a heavenly Father who will NEVER change by your side, you are capable of overcoming these changes.

Dear Heavenly Father. I just ask tonight that you help all of those people who are in my current situation of accepting and seeing you in all of the changes we come in contact in our lives. I ask that you pour your love and shine your beacon into my life as well as all of our lives. You are truly amazing Lord, and I love you so much and I know you love me too. Thanks for being you and being there no matter of all the changes that happen around us. Shine your light into our lives and help us understand that your love endures. Amen

Lay 'Em Down

Well hello hello all you beautiful people! I'm not going to diddly doddle very long, so here we go. I think that these past couple of weeks have been a struggle, they also have been uplifting in more ways then one. Kind of an up and down roller coaster that has been exhilarating, but also heartbreaking. I am not going to go into details about certain things that have been going on because they aren't worth bringing up to you all who are reading this because they just aren't worth the pain and the misery that I know those things will bring to myself because I have forgiven and I am now starting to forget. Anyway, this past week I went with my church to Whitewater State Park and we camped from Monday through Friday. How was camping? I would have to say that camping was.......flipping fantabulous! I experienced God the most this week then I have ever in the previous 5 years I went on this trip. It was uplifting, extravagant, inspiring, and an all around God-filled week. This post is not going to be about hope, the valley, rock bottom, even though, those things have alot to do with it. I am going to talk about laying all of your troubles down to God because when you surrender yourself to God's will and go with the flow great things will happen.  

Come down to the river
Come and let yourself in
Make good on a promise
To never hurt again
If you're lost and lonely
You're Broken down
Bring all of your troubles
Come lay 'em down
Lay 'Em Down by NeedtoBreathe

Those lyrics have never spoken to my heart more then this last week. I have reached a point where I feel as though all these things being thrown at me are too much to bear and that I am completely worn down to nothing. But, as I have said in my previous posts....there is hope. Okay, so there is hope, I understand that, but what about all those worries, feelings, heartbreak, and turmoil. What do I do about those things? As that song says, YOU LAY THEM DOWN!

You lay them down.

You see, all those things you feel that are there bringing you down. Maybe its your self-worth, self-image, trust issues, family issues, relationship problems, getting over a break-up, school worries, and friend problems. Whatever in this world you feel those things are, are completely washed away by a rushing river of love and forgiveness by our Lord. If you lay your problems and worries and other things that are keeling you from your full potential down, then you are cleansed by those waters of forgiveness and redemption.

Lord, I ask of you today that you help us all to see that if we surrender, and lay all of your crap down for you to see, then we will be cleansed by your river of grace and love. I also want to thank you for all the things you have done in my life to keep me going, and to keep me in the righteous even though sometime we go down the wrong path. Your love and your mercy lives in each and everyone of us. Use us to be beacons of hope in other peoples lives and show the example of laying down and surrendering to you. Amen.

From Rock Bottom to Scaling the Mountain

These past couple of weeks have had their ups and downs. As my last post stated, I hit rock bottom but I realized that I needed to build my relationship with God because a relationship with the Lord, like any relationship or friendship, is a two-way street. Anyway fast forward to now and I can tell you that I am on the rebound. I have been diving into the word and doing alot of self-realization about myself and the kind of person that I can and strive to become. To be honest with you, I feel like now I am set free from the burdens and chains that were holding me down in that pit I was in, and as the title of this post says,  I am "Scaling the Mountain." What exactly does that mean? Well, to me that means the worst is behind me. That "Rock Bottom" is just that, AT THE BOTTOM. You are now slowly scaling that mountain because you know that what is on top of this mountain is SOOOO worth having and worth striving to have. That journey back to the mountaintop may take a long time. It may take no time at all, or it may not be clear to when you have reached it. Each persons' walk and journey up the mountain is different, but the Lord is always going to guide you and strengthen you.

 For me, the journey from the bottom has just begun but I see the light and am basking in it for everyone else to see. I know what the mountain top feels like, how it fills my heart with love, and how it shuns out every insecurity and lonely feelings I have experienced at the bottom. The journey will be tough, it will not be easy, but if I keep trying, keep striving, and never give up on myself then I will get to that mountaintop. If I put my faith in the Lord and persevere with him as my right hand man, then I am unstoppable.  I am going to close with a quote from one of my favorite Christian speakers.

“Along the way you might fall down, . .. sometimes in life, you might fall down and can’t find the strength to get back up… do you think you have hope? Because I tell you, I’m down here and I have no arms and no legs, … It should be impossible for me to get up, but it’s not”
- Nick Vujicic

That man has no arms and legs, and eventhough he has no limbs he sees the HOPE that some of us do not see when we are at rock bottom. He goes on to say in another quote that I am going to end with that if you do not try and strive to get back on the mountain top that you will fail that the only time that you will fail is when you have given up. If that kind of man, one without arms and legs, has not given up on himself and on his LORD then what does that say about us who do? I challenge myself to continue to scale the mountain, no matter how many times I fail to make progress and fall back into rock bottom. I will continue to try and try and try and strive to be back on the mountain top and not give up on myself and on the LORD.

"I will try one hundred times to get up, and if I fail one hundred times. If I fail and I give up, will I ever get up? No! If I fail I’ll try again, and again and again. But I want to tell you it’s not the end.”

Lord help us all to understand that even down in rock bottom that when we try and strive to be back on the mountain that you will be there to guide us and comfort us as well as being our strength when we have got no more to give. I ask that you help me in my journey back to the mountaintop and that you bless each and every person in my life no matter if they have hurt me or encouraged me. In your name. Amen