White Flag

We raise our white flag, we surrender all to you. All for you. - Chris Tomlin

I say that quote not telling you guys to waive the white flag on your life period, and to give up on everyone in it or any of that. I share that with you because I have been through so much in my life and even within the past week. I will get to what I mean by this quote, and what I have been going through the past week to get to this point. So in saying all this. Let it start.

This week has been one heck of a week. Honestly, I cannot tell you how much of a roller coaster I have been on. I mean my week started off on such a high-note I was feeling so full so close to the Lord after I had just this hardcore session of intense worship, prayer, and reading his Word. I felt like I could tackle anything, and that I could do anything. Then, the next morning I received some news. Some news that we all hate hearing. One of my great-grandmas passed away after her battles with her health. I mean you talk about that gut-wrenching moment. That moment where the shock of someone you loved, and enjoyed being around would not be there the next time. I did not see her very often, but when I did I cherished my time with her because I knew she cared and loved me dearly. That was hard to begin with, and then after that I really was beating myself up about wasting my life here. Satan was using my grandmother's death, which is hard in its own right, and threw this at me? Making me question and deceiving me saying that this life I am living is a waste that I should be doing more. I was in a pit literally in the rut. Then upon praying and getting over those lies and that heartache, I was put back into that pit again tonight. The great-grandma on the otherside of the family had a scare tonight as well. I mean honestly that just brought me down even further. That was where I was at before I rose my white flag.

Let me explain. I did not give up on myself, and wallow in self-pity. Okay maybe I did for a little bit, but that is where my friends help me and encourage me in my faith. Thank the Lord for them. Anyway, after being encouraged by these people. I rose my white flag. I surrendered. I said to the Lord, "God. I can't do this anymore. I can't take all of this on my own. I surrender all of this to you. Everything I am going through, and everything I will go through. I just submit it all to you. Amen." After doing that, I felt at ease. I felt that peace that I have grown to love. That peace that only God can ever give me. He filled me up. It lets all this tension and stress off of your shoulders, and just
make you grow in relationship.

My white flag is waving in air. It is flowing in the wind, and indicates that I accept what God has planned for me. I trust that no matter what He has in store for me that I will love Him forever and ever. I surrender my life, my heart, and my soul.

Lord Jesus. I just praise you tonight for being you. For being our strength, our stronghold, our rock. For being there no matter if we doubt or if we worship you. If we are in the valley or on freaking Mt. Everest Lord you are there. You pour your love onto us no matter where we are or who we are with. I praise you for that. For sacrificing it all for us. For laying down your son's life in order to save us from your wrath. Father, I just ask tonight that as we take up our cross daily that we remember that we do not have to carry that cross on our own. That we can call upon your name and surrender our crosses over to you Lord. That we can raise our white flags to you, and you will take them wholeheartedly because that is how you are. That is how much you love us and care for each of us. I pray all of this in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.