Well all y'all are back for another one of my insights into my life, and my lessons that I feel like writing down for two reasons really. One is to help you all reading in your life and in your struggles, and two is for me to have clarity in what I am going through. This stuff I write is all from my heart, and is my way of working through things because if I just hold it all in and don't release it either through writing or talking to someone then it just harbors in my heart and that is when Satan takes a hold of it and makes me second guess and all that stuff. So that is why I write these posts, but let me get to what I want to talk about on here tonight. The lesson that I have started to learn over the past few days. To stop relying on people more than God.
This break has been so strenuous on my faith, and not just me spiritually, but emotionally and even physically. I have really been thinking over today and even the past couple of days about my priorities in life. I am called to serve the Lord, and I have answered that call, but I haven't really been living my life with Him as my purpose you know? I mean yes I try my hardest to spread his love, and to encourage others through the faith, and evangelize. Those are all involving people though right? In that serving and loving of others I feel as if though lately I have started putting my trust instead of in God but with people. I put the people I love in front of God. Instead of trying to serve God and lay it all down for Him, I try to change those people. I put all my effort into trying to change those people to what I think is right instead of putting that hope/effort into God's hands through prayer. If I prayed as much as I try to change people in my life, then maybe just maybe He would make more impact on the people I love on and serve. Maybe if I wouldn't depend on people over my God, my creator, that I would not to put so much effort in to trying to control outcomes that I can't.
This lesson from God is something that is really hard for me to grasp onto because my personality the way that I am wired is to love, to encourage, and to care. I realize that I can still do that. That I can still be an awesome friend to all that I meet and to care as much as I do, but instead of trying to control and try to change people. I have to learn to stop trying to control things that I have no control over. The hard truth that I don't change people, that I don't make the difference in people, but I am an instrument that God uses in the lives of people I meet. So in saying that. I am not going to say that this lesson is going to be so easy for me to swallow because of my nature, but I realize that God has a better plan for me than anything that I can ever imagine. Yes, the way that I do things now are what I would say as "good," but sometimes we need to sacrifice the good in order to bask in the glory of God's greatness. His plan is GREAT. I am sacrificing my good to become great, can you do the same?
Lord Jesus, my Jesus. I just come to you tonight in prayer and in praise. I praise you tonight for what you do in my life, and for allowing the Holy Spirit to point this lesson out in my life. It is utterly amazing for me to feel you in my life, and to try to grasp how amazing you and your love are. I just ask tonight Lord that we all see that sometimes we need to sacrifice our control and our "good lives" in order to fully bask and fully reap the rewards of your glory Lord. To instead of having the good we currently have to lay that down in order to be great. Your plan Lord is great, and I just ask that you continue to guide us and love us as much as you do. Your love and grace reign forever in my life, and I hope that we all can lay our good down at your feet for you to turn into greatness. In your most holy of names I pray. Amen.
Love all of you reading this, and may the King of Kings bless your days to come.
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