The Gift of Singleness

What is wrong with being single? Is there really anything wrong with it? Society these days makes it seem like singleness is frowned upon. Even in the church, the feeling around singleness is pretty much non-existent that as soon as you get married you will have a totally new chapter in your relationship with God. Like almost that you can't advance in your faith any farther until you get married. You almost are held back by your singleness. Think about that though. Girls all be up on social media talking about the future wedding and saving all the ideas they see for that special day. They are so excited for that wedding day and all of that they forget about the situation that they are in now, and using that situation for glorifying the Lord. Guys do it too. I catch myself sitting feeling lonely because I ain't got no girlfriend or if you don't understand my ghetto talk, "I don't have a girlfriend." I think about the future and like to think about having an awesome wife with kids, and how my life would be in that situation. I think about those days and almost idolize thinking of that not because I don't like where I am at now, but because we over-sensationalize the future making us long for it more. No, I am not saying that those thoughts are bad, but when it becomes an everyday thing. When you look to your future and focus so much on that, what happens to your present? It becomes non-existent. A passage I really like and heard a sermon on was 1 Corinthians 7 where Paul is writing to the church of Corinth about the institution of marriage. In verses 7-9 though are really where I want to focus today though. Let's dive into it.

"I wish that all men or women were as I am. But each person has his or her own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am." 

What? Paul doesn't want us to be married? GASP! No, not quite young grasshopper. Paul is not saying that at all. I added some things to it to make it apply to both genders by the way, but honestly he is not bashing marriage. Instead, Paul is breaking our perception of it. 

Let's look at verse 7 really here. Singleness is a gift people! It says here that each person has their own gift from God. Singleness is a gift from GOD! We think marriage is a solve all. That we won't have temptation anymore because we can have all the sex we want, but just because you are married doesn't mean temptation leaves. You are still gonna be tempted  as much or even more as a husband or a wife  as you are as a single man/woman. Our singleness is not a burden. Why do we search so hard to find a spouse or to find a date when God, the Creator of the universe mind you, has gifted us with the opportunity to be single? The only difference with singleness than any other gift given to you by God is that it is subject to and could be changed. You are free to choose whether singleness is your cup of tea or not, it isn't just a short little chapter of your life that is meant to fill space until you are married either. THERE IS PURPOSE.

What is that purpose? That would be my next question, and naturally I am sure you are asking this question as well. The purpose of singleness is to go all out for the kingdom of God! What we as a church need to look at is does taking on a spouse or even a relationship in the dating sense going to hinder or advance my relationship with Christ and will it affect God's call on my life? That is the question that is going to need to be asked to yourself. What is the real purpose that I want to be in this relationship? Is it because I feel like God is putting this person in my life for that reason, or is it me trying to control my circumstances?

Those questions are something Paul brings up in verses 29-31 when he is talking about how the time is short. He states here:

"What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have spouses should live as if they had none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away."

Here Paul talks about how marriage shouldn't keep us from pursuing God's kingdom in our lives, or as the man who preached the sermon about this subject said "Going in for the Kingdom." Does the idea of marriage or relationship hinder you from fully pursuing the kingdom? Are you on social media looking at all the wedding stuff constantly when you could be in God's word or serving God? That is where the heart-check has happened for me. Not really the social media stuff, but the aspect of wanting a girl-friend. I was searching for someone to fit that bill, instead of God bringing a person into my life.

The final thing that I really want to encourage you all reading this with is that if we live our lives no matter the circumstances, whether single, dating, or married, in pursuit of the kingdom. God will look upon us with favor because with a life with Christ as the foundation will never be shaken. Stop hunting, looking, and living anxiety-filled about relationships and marriage, but live for the kingdom. God will take care of the rest.

Father, we come to you this beautiful Monday morning and just praise you for who you are, and for who you have created us to be in your image. We ask that the old ideas and stigmas that we have about singleness be blown away, Lord, and replaced with this idea of being graced and gifted with the opportunity  we have as single, dating, or married people to glorify you in every circumstance. Papa, we pray for those of us who are single that we don't go out and hunt for potential spouses, but be aware of people you have brought into our lives and let your will be done in it. We pray that we can continue to have this eternal perspective not substituting our over-sensationalized future plans about marriage and what we expect it to be for your will, and accept Lord that we really are not in control at all. We surrender this aspect of our lives over to you Father, and ask that you do with it as you want. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.